


4.

by Schweet



Series: Me [4]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Moving On, Poetry, Toxic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:42:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25514485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schweet/pseuds/Schweet
Series: Me [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1848394
Kudos: 3





	4.

To  **Her**

There is so much I want to say to you

All of it I know I never will

My mother once told me there are some things you will never gain closure on

I didn’t believe her then

I was convinced you would come back and apologize

Explain

Convinced you would

come

back

- _ I believe you now Mommy _ -

I now know I will never understand why you decided to abandon me

I will never know why you chose to go through high school hated and alone

Instead of swallowing your pride

And taking the knives connected to your tongue out of my brain

And sinking them deep in the pits of your poisonous stomach

I will never know why you looked at me with such hate

And fear

You were a fire

And I may have loved when you continued to set me alight

But you shattered me into ash

And hid a piece of my heart for over six years

Well, I have cycled so many times through the fear you created

And I may still fear everyone leaving me the way you did

I am terrified not of being alone but of being abandoned

It still hurts to see those old photos of us

It is still impossible to delete them

Georgina you were so close to killing me

Well, I have found that piece of my heart

And I have duct taped it back in to the whole where it belongs

I am allowing it to heal

It is almost healed

It has stopped dripping orange tainted blood

Georgina you no longer own my heart or my head or my fear or my sadness

Well, I may still be soothing the burns on my chest with the aloe from her grandmother’s aloe plant

And the words of my grandmother

I am still treating the scars I left behind by your words

It still hurts to see those scars on my forearms

It still releases the floor in my stomach when I feel the bumps along my underwear line

Georgina you destroyed me

Well, I have grown from that ash

And I am full of life

I am everything you burned out of me

It stopped hurting a while ago when I thought the first five letters of your name

It no longer haunts me at three am when I am alone with the ghosts in my room

Georgina you no longer have the right to take control of the demons in my veins and throat

Well, Georgina

I have finally broken out of the downwards facing circle you constructed just for me

I can finally say

You are nothing to me now

You are no longer

**Her**

You are a her

I will speak your name no longer

Not out of fear

But because I refuse to spend another ounce of my soul on the letters in your name

Goodbye

And Good

Riddance


End file.
